


Stripped of Control

by Resilience



Series: The Der Bear Collection [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Action & Romance, Anxiety Attacks, Belly Kink, Belly Rubs, Chubby Derek, Doubt, Fear, Fear of Discovery, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Judgement, Leadership, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Smut, Stiles Stilinski Likes Derek Hale, Stuffing, Teasing, Weight Gain, anger issues, chubby!kink, derek does get a bit violent, just afraid of public opinion, like a big puppy, not lacking self confidence, sex issues, slight physical abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:55:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resilience/pseuds/Resilience
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being an alpha requires a lot. You gotta look like one, act like one, smell like one, have control, be the admiration and strive for perfection. Being an alpha means strong, intimidating, and constantly in control. Being the one everyone else can go to with problems, admire, love. Derek tries, so hard, to be the Alpha he thinks he needs to be. It all takes a lot of effort, and as hard as Derek tries to be all these things, he's the worst at maintaining control over everything. So even though he has tight, strict, perfect alpha control over his pack, he loses control of himself but refuses to believe it, because if he believes it then he will have failed. And failure is not part of being Alpha. </p><p>OR</p><p>chubby!Derek because of this post made a while ago: http://resiliencefa.tumblr.com/post/67348675005/chubstilinski-dude-thanks-for-this-haha-you-gave</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stripped of Control

Derek…he kind of hugs himself, shields himself from prying eyes, worries he won’t  _feel_  like an alpha to his enemies in scent or literally the feelings he can emulate, like he won’t  _look_ threatening with his new changes. But at the same time, Derek has always seen himself as weak, never felt truly strong anyway…like he was never good enough for his position as leader or protector or big brother, you know? At least, in my humble opinion. When he fails, the shame is unbearable. He hates himself when he lets people down. It’s a major confidence issue. It’s a depression, really, when he goes from feeling so powerful like an alpha should be, when he can teach his pack how to survive and then they do it, to seeing them fall in battle, and then not being able to protect them. It’s such a high/low that he forgets to take care of himself because he’s too busy caring for his pack, the ones he failed.

The way he deals with his failure isn’t…normal, per say. Not many people see the sense in it. Honestly, Derek doesn’t either. But it works. So he keeps doing it. He may not see sense in it, but that doesn’t mean he sees something wrong with it either. Weirdly enough, sometimes he enjoys it. More often than not though, he ignores it, thinks it’s just the relief washing over him, the shame lifting. But then, if he goes a length of time feeling good about who he is, there are these _urges_ that hit him. Sometimes he gives in, and the more he gives in, the more regular these urges come. So when the changes start to gradually get bigger and the urges gradually get stronger, he gets really broody, especially when people point it out. His werewolf metabolism starts to slow down, or maybe it’s his food intake that’s just catching up? He doesn’t know. Still though, he gets defensive and tries to hide what people see, makes up for what they notice with snappiness and sarcasm and anger, enough anger so that they don’t ask again. They don’t speak up after he snaps.

Derek sees the line he’s crossing but he doesn’t care. He sees the fear he’s creating, but he just _can’t_ stop, because otherwise they will doubt him, and eventually cast him out, because he’s not suitable, not able. Inadequate. So he has to lead them with fear. Not love. Because that’s the only way he’ll keep them with him. Not friendship. Fear.

But Derek has an observer.

There’s always an observer. Stiles never stops observing. And Stiles sees what’s going on. So that one day in the loft? The pack meeting literally everyone was there for? All of them, Lydia, Allison, Stiles, Derek, Scott, Peter, the twins, Isaac, and even Jackson was there…Jackson, of course it was him, made a small, small comment about round not being an Alpha worthy shape, very quietly. He, really, was one of the only people to still stand up to Derek, every once in a while. Only once in a while.

Guess he chose the wrong time to speak up. Or maybe it was the right time. Because Derek roared so loudly at him, Jackson ran across the room to hide in the corner, underneath the stairs. Everyone else was wide eyed, cowering behind each other. Fear reeked off them, leaked into the air. Derek snorts, trying to rid his lungs of the scent. He hates it. But it’s the only way he can stay their leader, the only way he can still prove he’s good enough for the position if alpha.

Stiles is the first to say anything. Scott pulls back on his arm, shaking his head and mouthing the word no at him.

“Derek,” His voice was steady, and hard. He was to Derek’s left, hardly in his periphery.

Derek whipped his head in Stiles’ direction, teeth bared.

“It must just be me man, but you seem very sensitive lately. Your wolf-doctor give you estrogen pills or something?”

Everyone in the room tensed, not expecting such a snippy rebuttal.

Derek didn’t know what to say, but the wolf inside snapped his jaws at the blatant insubordination. In two long strides, he pushed himself into Stiles’ personal space, nose brushing nose.

He expected Stiles to react like a wolf, back off and go belly up...but Stiles was human. A stubborn human.  And a very obtrusive one.

Stiles recognized the soft plush belly pushing against him being the first thing to touch him, and then the broad chest just a few inches away. So when he suddenly squeezed Derek’s growing love handle, Derek was shocked into immobility, giving Stiles enough time to say quietly, “Those pills must be workin too, cuz you seem to be getting some curves to go with that moodiness.”

In one swift movement, Derek snapped his teeth and pushed Stiles backwards so hard he tripped and fell on his ass. For the briefest of moments, Derek feels a twinge of regret at the lack of control he held in controlling his emotions, for how he treated a human, and for how he treated Stiles in particular. But only for a moment. His anger and need for obedience charges forward again.

“GET OUT!”

Stiles’ nostrils flare, and he eyes darted between the other wolves and humans in the room, looking for some to help. When he received none, he turned his glare towards Derek. He slowly gets up, walks slowly around the wolfman, keeping a diligent eye on him. Just as about he’s reaching for the door to leave, hanging wide open after everyone else, Derek pulls some superhuman speed and slams the door in Stiles’ face, _with Stiles still inside._

“What exactly do you think you’re doing,” Derek grinds out between his teeth. He stalked towards Stiles, shoulders hunched.

Stiles doesn’t say anything. His eyes dart to and fro, like a rabbit looking for an escape.

“You cannot undermine me in front of my pack, Stiles.”

Another step forward.

Stiles takes two quick steps back, cocking his head and squinting his eyes at the wolfman. “What exactly do you mean _undermine._ No one is undermining anyone here. Why are you getting so defensive? I didn’t do anything to you.”

“You’re insubordination will cause chaos. I need to make sure I have control, Stiles, why is that so hard to understand?”

“Dude, you jumped down Jackson’s throat for no reason! Granted, it IS Jackson, and I can’t believe I’m the one that came to his defense, but still! You snapped on him without cause, Derek.” Stiles had stepped up this time.  “So answer my question Der, _why are you getting so defensive._ ”

Derek’s nostrils flared and his lips tightened. Stiles saw his hands were clenched so tight they were white. “Because I need to be the alpha at all times.”

“You already ARE. No one is questioning you! So what’s your reason for snapping on the master of snap?! He didn’t undermine you or question you or anything, all he did…was….” Stiles trailed off.

Jackson’s words floated through the air, and supplied him with an answer to his question.

Stiles snorted and ran a hand through his hair, “You’re kidding me right?”

Derek looked down.

“That’s seriously the reason why you snapped at Jackson?” Stiles paused and took another step towards Derek. “Because you gai-“

“His actions warranted recourse, and he needed to be put back in his place!” Derek talked over him.

“No, that’s a lie and you know it. I’m not even a wolf and I could hear that!”

“I’m the alpha and I need to maintain control. I will do whatever is necessary to maintain that control.” Derek said calmly, ignoring what Stiles said.

“Dude, you need to have control of yourself before you can have control of others,” Derek looked up at Stiles sharply, “Once you control yourself you can control others. I’m not even going to get into how absolutely horrendous it is that you think you need to control people, let alone your _family_.”

“You need to leave.” His eyes flashed red on the last syllable. How dare he assume Derek wasn’t in control? Derek was in more control than he’s ever been his entire life.

“No, I don’t, someone needs to set you straight and everyone else is too afraid to do so, so that means I have to.” Stiles spoke louder with each word that passed his lips.

Derek’s eyes flared red again as he stepped back into Stiles’ personal space. “I said, Get. Out.”

“Why. Because I’m telling you you don’t have control? Especially over yourself?”

“Stiles,” Derek growled menacingly.   

“What the fuck happened to you. You used to be a lot better person.” Stiles started jabbing him with his words now. “Is it because you suddenly found yourself with power? Was it too much for you to handle, and the now the only outlet you have is to let your frustration out on your pack?” He jabbed Derek again, this time with his index finger, unafraid.

The growl had grown into a full on snarl on the last bit of Stiles’ sentence. Derek’s eyes were blood red, and his fangs elongated quickly.

“Or maybe that’s not your only outlet. I guess food is too, huh.” He made to grab for Derek’s shirt, but Derek caught his arm midreach in a tight grip. Too tight. He twisted it slowly, to the side. Stiles’ face began to contort as a small amount of pain leeched up his arm. He let out a soft gasp.

Derek immediately let go, looking surprised. Stiles saw his eyes were back to normal as Derek’s gaze darted from Stiles’ wrist to his own hand to Stiles’ face.

Derek turned around, quickly walking to the kitchen and slammed the door.

Stiles stood there for a moment, blank in thought and expression, before he turned around and left Derek’s loft. 


End file.
